Being Me..

Salam..

'As long as your heart is still shaken when committing sins, there's still iman inside it. There'll always be a chance to improve'

Deep. Too deep. I was sitting next to my senior on our way back to Bradford. Such an inspirational lady she is, full of motivation and experiences. She went to see someone just to say those words but at the same time it touched me as well. She had just delivered it perfectly. Even though those lines are familiar to me, the tone of her voice somehow made me startled.

Every one of us has a willingness to improve. We can't judge others just because they are different from us particularly when we have no idea what kind of hardships they've been through. All we can do is give them support and advice. Agama itu adalah nasihat. Kita saling memperingati sebabnya manusia ni tak akan selamanya teguh berdiri bila bersendirian. Hati manusia ni kan berbolak-balik. Kejap rasa nak berubah sepenuhnya, kejap rasa bahagia dalam keadaan melakukan maksiat. Selagi mana ada perasaan nak berubah tu, cepat-cepatlah lakukannya sebab kita tak tahu bila Allah akan tarik balik perasaan tu. Dan kita tak dapat jamin masih ada lagi tak hari esok untuk kita berubah. Nak berubah itu senang tapi yang susahnya adalah istiqamah. Maka berdampinglah dengan orang-orang yang sama tujuannya dengan kita. Apa tujuan akhir kita? Mestilah untuk mencapai keredhaan Allah untuk menuju ke syurgaNya. Bila masing-masing dah jelas matlamat in syaa Allah kita akan sentiasa berada di landasan yang benar.

This past few days I learnt a lot about myself. Some parts of me which I haven't discovered before. Oftenly I felt inferior when watching others who are far more steps ahead. It makes me wonder, 'Am I born to just be an ordinary person or am I being too indifferent that I couldn't care less of things happening around me? Or maybe I'm just afraid to step forward, afraid of what kind of perception people might throw towards me. And the question goes on and on... 

But you will never know until you try. When I challenged myself to take a responsibility, that was when I found what I've actually got inside. No matter from which position you start with, it's the lessons that matters. As I said everyone is different in their own way. It doesn't mean you have to begin at the same position as others just to be like them. Find your true self, then you will enjoy what you're doing. Barulah perasaan ikhlas tu datang. And you will not see it as a burden to you. 

Apa yang saya fikir sekarang adalah sambal nasik lemak. Dah banyak kali buat tapi tak pernah dapat hasil yang ummphh hinggalah bila saya bekerjasama ngan housemate buat sama-sama, rasa macam sambal nasik lemak kami adalah yang terbaik. Eh? Macam takde kaitan je? Kikiki

That's all for now. Assalamualaikum wbt.